Is being right more important than your relationship?

Misunderstanding and disagreement in any relationship can actually be an opportunity to learn about ourselves. However, most of the time we simply focus on how the other person is wrong. It is easier to point the finger than to look to ourselves and face the unpleasant truth that we may share some or all of the responsibility. We think, “If he (or she) were only more considerate, had more time for me, or did the dishes more, then I’d be happy.”

Instead of looking at our own behavior, we believe that the other person is the problem. We believe we are justified, reasonable and more than fair. They need to change.

When I believe I am right, I spend an exorbitant amount of time re-hashing** the situation in my mind. I obsessively review the other person’s responses and actions to find the evidence I need to be right. In this internal dialogue, nothing changes. I try to rebuild my case, yet I get nowhere. If I continue down this path, when the time comes to discuss the matter with the other person, I’ve already become the judge, jury, and executioner.

It really does take more energy to hold on to being right than it does simply to be responsible for our behavior. When we are willing to let go, problems can be solved more easily. People are more willing to listen, to be open, and even to acknowledge responsibility when they are not under attack.


Identify Your Expectations:
First acknowledge you have expectations. Then ask yourself if you are willing to give them up. Stop expecting others to read your mind, to know what you want and need, and to satisfy your unspoken expectations. Stop waiting for people to complete you.

Stop Keeping Score:
Yesterday’s argument doesn’t have to carry over. Don’t bring it into your next dispute. Don’t throw things in each other’s faces. Accept that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We have our moods, our reactions, our fears.

Love people for who they are and who they aren’t. Allow them to change and grow. Be willing to see them newly. Don’t put them in a box. Instead of trying to make them be who you want them to be, give them the space to be who they are.

Give up Being Right:
Ask yourself–how important is your position, really?

Is being right more important than your relationships?

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”
~ Mary Shelley ~

If you want to change things in your life, you need to change some things in your life.

Have you ever been plagued by low self esteem and jealousy in a relationship?

If so, you will want to check out my good friend David Robin’s new book which will allow you to boost your self esteem and end jealousy for good.

Get the details here:

This is unlike anything I’ve seen before.

You will learn how to:

  • increase your happiness
  • reduce your stress,
  • eliminate jealousy
  • boost your self-esteem
  • give you instant peace of mind!

Does this sound like something you need in life?

The answer is yes!

=> Find out how you can here:

Cheers, Smiles, Laughs, Love & Success,

J. Arne Rotnem

P.S. I am not sure how long this will be kept up. . .   So, you better jump on this while it’s HOT!

How will Trust help your online growth?

As in the old song “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” by Tina Turner, we look at online advertising often ask ourselves  “What’s trust got to do, got to do with it… Who needs trust… When trust can be broken?”

The answer is really simple.
“If a man likes you, he will listen to you… But if he trusts you, he will do business with you.” as Zig Ziglar once said.

So with this question hanging in the air, we wonder how to market to people and develop their trust…

Well the good news is, my good friend Brian G. Johnson, a self proclaimed Poodle wrangler and Pixie Dust distributor has written a very detailed book on developing a Trust Funnel, when marketing to people via the Internet.

Over the last few days there’s been a lot of buzz surrounding 
the launch of his new book and it is totally justified.

Knowing the kind of guy Brian is, I picked up a copy of the book and read through the Kindle version. I was floored by the incredible amount of solid information he was presenting and I have been reading a lot about Internet Marketing for the past few years.

Brian G. Johnson, is a lot like me, funny, goofy and sometimes totally insane… and that’s what I like most about him. He is 1000% just the way he is. REAL!

Brian G.Johnson Real

That’s why I expected his book to be lots of fun and full of tips with his brand of personality and I was not disappointed

Well, I am still in awe of all the information he packed into this book with every page chock full of information about how anyone can get started online and create a business that will actually make money… and enough of it to live an awesome lifestyle.

I have the fortune of getting to know Brian on a personal level and having him coach me on several different things. I was grateful for the time and information and coaching he shared with me and I gained a lot from it. I am glad to have found him as a friend and Mentor.

And had I not known Brian, I might have missed out on this 
invaluable guide because of my presumptions. Not sure but all I can say is don’t be blinded by this crazy self-proclaimed Pixie Dust spreading Poodle Wrangler, head on over to the link below and grab a copy of the Trust Funnel.

BTW… besides being so full of valuable content, the Trust Funnel book launch page 
has a bunch of cool bonuses you can pick up as well.

Check it out!


Lance Smith, who is a good friend of mine and is a successful business leader for many years who has some great insights. Today I read this article and felt it was so to the point I needed to share it. Enjoy!


The ONLY way to improve your life is to take ownership of where you are and acknowledging that your current circumstance are a direct result of your planning and actions. Over the last few months I have received the most feedback (good and bad ) when I have discussed people who view their lives through the “victim” filter. The ones who say: “It’s not my fault. They [or it] did it to me.”

When you understand what the feeling of victimization really is, where it comes from and how it affects people, you will discover that it is even more widespread and debilitating than you might think. The primary source of feeling like a victim is the feeling of powerlessness, and because we don’t like feeling that we are powerless, we tend to blame someone or something for causing that feeling.

The reason feeling victimized is so debilitating is that it undermines your ability to do anything about your situation. If you are having difficulties in any area of your life, such as relationships or money, and you experience yourself as powerful and in control of your life, you can devise a strategy to improve your situation. And if one solution doesn’t work, you can learn from your experience and try again. But if you have a victim mentality, if you feel powerless to affect your circumstances… you are likely to feel that the world is “doing it” to you and that there is nothing you can do about it.

Well, here’s the truth…

  • It’s not the Economy’s fault
  • It’s not the Presidents fault
  • It’s not the Democrats or the Republicans
  • It’s not your Company’s or their Compensation Plan’s fault.
  • It’s not your Un-supportive Wife or Family’s fault
  • It’s not your Boss or Coworkers fault

What you need to realize is that there are others who are succeeding in the very same environment that you may be struggling in! When you take ownership of that fact and stop making excuses as to why you aren’t doing better, you can finally breakthrough and start moving forward in a powerful way!

Once I “Got” this…. My entire life changed!

Life is Beautiful,
Lance Smith

This article written by Lance Smith
To find out more about him check him out here:

Are You Living in Heaven or Hell?
100+ Years of Wisdom and Love

“The secret of happiness is Freedom. The secret of Freedom is courage”
~ Thucidides (471BC  – 400 BC) ~

At 108 years of age, Alice Herz-Sommer is the world’s oldest holocaust survivor! She survived the WWII Nazi concentration camps in Prague while most of her family was exterminated. To this day, she lives a life full of joy and laughter, because she has a very unique viewpoint on life. This video was compiled from the footage from an interview with Tony Robbins speaking with Alice in London 2011 and combined with footage from the archives to tell her story.  Some additional clips of Alice playing the piano have been added, the one thing that she says saved her from the hells of war.

She says that the biggest problem today is that people are bored and don’t know what to do with themselves.  She shares why being grateful and forgiving are so important to your success and happiness.

Maybe we can learn how to have an attitude that lets us get through the trials and tribulations of today. Think about it, for many people, a bad cellphone or Internet connection is a major disaster, or when their favorites stars don’t win in a Big Brother house.
Let’s get real and get a better attitude. We make our own Heaven or Hell.

This is definitely worth 12 minutes of your time.

“Hatred eats the heart of the hater and not the hated”
~ Alice Herz-Sommer ~

What is Compassionate Capitalism?

Compassionate Capitalism is when someone acquires wealth and instead of just lining his own pockets and enjoying his lifestyle, he uses the money conscientiously to help others in need.

Here is a guy who was given a $25,000 budget from 20th Century Fox to produce a film trailer for “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” and this is what he did:

20th Century Fox Gave Him $25,000 To Make A Movie Trailer. Here’s What He Did Instead. Somewhere between the ridiculous voice-overs and their identical forms, I started dreading previews at the movies. This trailer though, if you can call it that, raises the standard. The next time you watch a movie preview, remember that this is what that money could have done.

What can you do?
How can you be more compassionate?
Think about it.

Help us Help:

Read More:

9 Practical Ways to Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

Posted: 31st December 2013 by Johnny in Promotional

9 Practical Ways to Stop Thinking Negative Thoughts

1. Don’t Cherish Negative Thoughts

This is a strange statement – how can anyone cherish negative thoughts? Yet I bet that you know a couple people, who cling on to their problems and misfortunes and take strange satisfaction in telling everyone how miserable they are. Usually these people are not looking for solutions, only for sympathy.

Although, even those of us with an optimistic outlook on life sometimes refuse to let go of negative thoughts or emotions, because we feel that our pride has been injured or because we believe that we have been treated unjustly. We let these thoughts go round and round in our mind, contemplating vindictive scenarios and coming up with new derogatory remarks. The question is – who are we helping with these thoughts? No one. Who are we hurting? Mostly ourselves.

2. Being Happy or Being Miserable?

A negative mindset is not an inherited quality. It is a choice. While we hold on to our own destructive emotions and thoughts, nobody else will be able to help us. We need to understand that we can start making conscious choices to stop thinking negative thoughts by cultivating inner peace, happiness and a feeling of gratitude.

3. Don’t Accept Negativity from Other People

Wherever we live, we will always meet people who criticize, gossip and are focused on finding negative in every person and every situation. But there is no reason why we have to ascribe to their view of the world. If we know we can not change the way they think, we can always choose not to be part of the conversation.

4. Look for a Positive Explanation

When someone is rude to us, we automatically attribute negative qualities to this person. Our thoughts do not go beyond this point. A cashier was not polite to us – she is a terrible person. A Porsche cuts in front of us – the driver must be an arrogant idiot. Kids are running around the restaurant – they must be spoiled brats or their parents must not care enough to educate them well.

I am sometimes guilty of making these assumptions too. But then I stop myself and look for a different explanation and I am often reminded how erroneous snap judgments may be.

The cashier may be rude to me, because she has worked 10 hours without a break. The driver may have cut in front of me, because there is serious emergency. Kids may be running around because they are tired of sitting. Is it really that bad if they are enjoying themselves?

When you look for a positive explanation to people’s negative actions it becomes very easy not to get offended and to deal with frustration. And most importantly, it helps you to avoid feelings of embarrassment and guilt, because you have judged someone unjustly.

5. Smile

Just because it seems too simple, it does not mean that the power of a smile and laughter should be diminished. It not only helps to trigger positive emotions, but also changes the way we present ourselves to the world. It is another conscious choice that we can make in our quest to stop thinking negative thoughts.

6. For Every Negative Thought Think 3 Positive

Neutralize the effect of negativity by balancing every negative thought with three positive ones. Not only will doing this stop the flow of negative thoughts, but it also helps us to regain clarity and optimism.

7. Take Care of Your Self-Image

Negative thoughts are not always triggered by other people or outside events. Often we direct them inwardly and become our own worst critique. Instead of cultivating a sense of self-worth and self-respect, we worry excessively over minor issues that can not even be called ‘faults’.

Healthy self-esteem and self-respect has nothing to do with arrogance or pride. It is something that allows us to maintain a more positive outlook on life and welcome feedback from other people.

8. Learn from Your Children!

Children have an amazing ability to cope with pain and negative emotions. I see it with my 5-year-old niece all the time.

A few days ago, she got scratched by her cat. There was only so much the poor animal could handle. And 15 minutes of playing the ‘baby’, while being wrapped in blankets and groomed with a Barbie brush did it for him. Fighting for his freedom, he accidentally scratched Veronica’s hand and of course, crying followed 2 seconds later. But it ended just as quickly, because let’s face it – the task of looking out of the window for an imaginary parrot and a monkey was a lot more fun than getting offended or dwelling on the pain.

If as adults, we could get into our mind that it does not make sense to dwell on negativity, when there are so many wonderful things happening around us, we would be much happier and much more fun to be with. Which brings us to the next point…

9. Distract Yourself

In the moment when you feel strong negative emotions, analyzing or trying to suppress them does very little good. What I found to be effective is a fun distraction or a positive activity, which directs thoughts away from the source of irritation and often makes us forget why we were mad or upset in the first place.

Do you let negativity get to you? Think about some other different steps you can take to stop thinking negative thoughts?

Start your New Year out with Positive Thoughts for the Future and watch your New Year blossom with possibilities.

You can download these tips as a pdf here:

Getting Started

Posted: 5th August 2011 by Johnny in Uncategorized


Tips and Articles on and about Personal Development Coming Soon!